2011 Ghosts and Grace

It's difficult to start a story about the new year with the old year so fresh and raw. But these are some of my thoughts on the first day of 2011.

17 years ago I took a New Years drive in an old VW bug with my best friend to a small town in the hill country of Texas. I had no idea that this friend would be my soul mate and saviour for life. Thank you Aimee.

It's been hard for me to stay grounded with the illness of my daughter and the strains that everyday life as a father and husband can put on you, but I've been lucky enough to live in a house that cannot be divided.

Aimee says I need to "stay strong" but that has never been my suit, so I've decided to be who I've always been. Complicated, creative, destructive, and caring.
Some people might not understand me or what I'm doing but I've always viewed myself as someone that many will never understand and others will love with all their heart.

Ella;
The hardest thing I have ever had to deal with is my darling Ella being sick. It would have been hard with any of my children but there has always been something special between Ella and me. To see her ill at such a young age has been the single most difficult thing I have ever endured. If it wasn't for Aimee I would have completely fallen apart by this point.

Community Destruction;
While the rest of the world dealt with foreclosures and money trouble the Ouray community literally took it on the chin. To all of the great families that had to leave we will miss you, for the ones on the verge, hang in there we're with you.

The passage of time;
It's difficult for me to deal with this one and not because my youth is now in the rear view mirror, I do see sunny days ahead. It's difficult because I'm having trouble interpreting the leaves at the bottom of the tea cup. What sort of world will my children know, a world of violence and corruption or a world of tolerance and sharing. I fear the former but pray for the latter.

My Family;
Nothing gives me greater joy than my family. For someone that has seen the darker sides of the street there is no greater joy than feeling loved and accepted. Even though I sometimes try to hide in the shadows away from everything I know that everyone under this roof loves me. Everyone should feel that in their life, thank you family.

Wife;
Aimee is the rock in my life. For 17 New Years eves she has been by my side no matter who I've been. On our first New Years Eve together I bought an $8 bottle of champagne(I still have the bottle). This year we drank a $250 dollar bottle and it's been worth every drop.

Culture;
What happened to my country? Lately it seems we are being told to buy everything no matter the cost, everything for sale and a sale for everything. I've always loved being an American and now is no different but as a nation we need to reconnect with whats important, and it's not the latest Iphone. It's a since of community, pride in what you do, a can do spirit, and some self control. Lets all make a promise to ourselves too have these principals in 2011.

Lastley;
2010 was amazing and cruel at the same time. Phish in Telluride and Broomfield changed my life and reminded me of who I once saw myself becoming and it was great to get reacquainted with that person again. But the illness of my daughter cast a black cloud over my year that I will never be able to get away from. I pray that the lord will bless my family in 2011 and help us deal with the obstacles that come before us.

Furthur in 2011!
Chris